Everything Wrong with Princess Twilight Sparkle

Well, it's that time again. It's time for another one of my reviews! Today season 4 of MLP premiered with the two-part episode "Princess Twilight Sparkle". And I have decided to review it. :-D

First off, before I actually review the episode, I'd just like to comment on how shitty the title is. "Princess Twilight Sparkle". I'm sure they could've come up with a much better and more fitting title. I can think of several fitting ones right now: "Tree of Harmony", "Everfree Invasion", and "OH MY GOD FUCKING TENTACLES FUCKING TENTACLES HELP!!!".
But no, just call it "Princess Twilight Sparkle". It's like they're trying to rub it in by saying, "Yeah, she's a princess now. Princess princess princess. This show has completely jumped the shark and corporatism has taken over. DEAL WITH IT BITCH! And buy our shitty toys while you're at it."

Actually that title is pretty fitting, because a whole lot of the episode is spent not doing anything and instead talking about the fact that, you guessed it, Twilight is a princess. Come on! We've already had one episode and a movie to talk about that. Can't you talk about anything else, like, oh I don't know, the fact that Equestria is being invaded by FUCKING TENTACLES?!

So it starts off with the rest of the main 6 trying to give Twilight flying lessons. Yeah, because she didn't fly perfectly well at the end of Magical Mystery Cure.
Then they talk about how she has to accept that she is a princess. SEEN IT.
And then we get the updated intro. Not that much is different about it, honestly, except that they gave Twilight wings and they tried to cram way too many characters (main 6, Spike and background characters) into one picture. However, there was one good part to it, and that was that Luna is now sitting alongside Celestia reading the letters Twilight sends to her. They should've changed that back in season 2. I like it. (:
Next thing you know, PRINCESS Twilight has her own stained glass window at Canterlot Castle. Well, of course. I mean, they make a stained glass window every time anything else happens there. Discord banished? Make a window. Royal wedding? Make a window. Nightmare Moon banished? Make a window. I'm surprised they don't have a window for every time Celestia decides to eat a sandwich.

Anyway, Twilight's friends went back to Ponyville after this. Yeah, you heard me right, they left her and went back to Ponyville, leaving her to do her royal duties. If that's not the most OOC thing they could do, I don't know what is.
Then after making a list and checking it twice, to find out who's naughty and nice... er, I mean to find out what to do for the Summer Sun Celebration, Celestia tells Twilight that every previous Summer Sun Celebration was a reminder to her about Luna being banished, but this one was different because her sister was now with her. So wait, you mean there wasn't a celebration last year or the year before?
The next day, Twilight wakes up only to discover that the princesses have been captured, the sun and moon are both up at the same time, and Equestria is being invaded by FUCKING TENTACLES! She discovers that she is now in charge of the kingdom. Don't worry, Twilight, it's not that hard of a job. All you have to do is claim that you control a celestial body with your magic and these gullible horses will buy it. You don't have to do anything else, you can just be lazy and veg out.

Twilight leaves Canterlot by flight, which even Spike agrees she sucks at, and winds up in Ponyville. They discover that the tentacles (or "weeds" as they call them) are emerging from the Everfree Forest, a sector of Equestria where everything happens on its own. If it invades the rest of it, everything will go about on its own, too. The sun and moon will move themselves, animals will care for themselves, plants will grow on their own, and clouds also move on their own. Ha! Now you'll see how it feels to be on Earth.
And this is the point in this episode which had my inner nerd on my knees thanking the almighty FSM himself: the return of Discord, once again voiced by Star Trek has-been John de Lancie. He reveals that, while he indeed loves chaos, he isn't causing the chaos that is going about right then. In other words, he's an ally, but he's still a badass who likes to fuck with their minds, just like the character he used to play on Star Trek, Q. Hell yeah! That's the Discord I know, not the pussywimp from "Keep Calm and Flutter On".

Then when they encounter Zecora, she gives Twilight a potion which leads to a huge pile of disappointment. Remember the scene in the preview for this season which features the return of Nightmare Moon? Well, it turns out that took place in this episode, which is bad enough as it is because they'd just be trying to cram it in as a subplot, when it should have an episode of its own. But even worse, it turns out that this is actually just a flashback from when she first became Nightmare Moon. Wow, way to destroy the one GOOD thing you had going for you, season 4. Damn. Just damn.
Next, it flashes back to a younger Celestia and Luna, who use the elements of harmony to defeat Discord. It also finally clears up how he got in that Luciano Pavoratti-esque pose that he was in at the beginning of "The Return of Harmony". Finally, it shows that they actually got the elements from something called the Tree of Harmony. Now I WAS going to comment on the huge plothole that this flashback sequence brings up, that Luna still has her season 2 onward mane instead of her season 1 mane. But this design change apparently WASN'T left unexplained (unlike Spitfire's random voice, attitude and cutie mark changes), because supposedly in the comics it's explained that the season 1 mane was her powered-down mode, when she had lost her magic. Well excuse me then.

So they go to the Everfree Forest where they are confronted by a bunch of evil alligators who try to attack Twilight. Luckily, the other 5 fight them off. These alligators serve no purpose to the plot and nobody ever talks about them again. In other words: A BIG-LIPPED ALLIGATOR MOMENT! Literally.
But then the other 5 send Twilight and Spike back to Ponyville. Okay, you know how I said that the scene I told about earlier was the most OOC thing to do? Well, I lied. This beats that by about 1,000%. And this is especially OOC in a show that promotes friendship above all else.
Luckily, the other 5 come to their senses pretty soon and go back to bring Twilight along with them. When they find this Tree of Harmony, it looks butt-ugly. The tentacles surround it and are seemingly indestructible, even by Applejack and Rainbow Dash. Wow, so even if Rainbow Dash does a sonic rainboom on it, it won't be destroyed? Man, these tentacles must be made of solid titanium or something!
Twilight remembers that the tree could keep powering itself without the elements, but somehow from that she comes to the conclusion that the elements must be reinserted into the tree, and only that will make things right. So how will they fight off evil villains? Apparently just by using their friendship. What they didn't say is that if their friendship doesn't work, they'll send in the nukes.
So they reinsert the elements back into the tree, which powers up and, I swear, becomes even more of an eyesore than when it was dying. Seriously, it's nowhere near as much of an eyesore as Eyesore-Land itself, the Crystal Empire, but it's sure close. Princesses Celestia and Luna are released from the tentacles' grips and do what they always do: take all the credit for defeating the tentacles. Yay.
But then the tree produces a flower, which sprouts a box with six keyholes in it. Well that's just silly.
I do admit, though, that this is a good thing for one reason. Remember season 1 and how the whole season was focused around the common theme of preparing for the Gala, and the finale was finally going to it? Well, that was something I felt really added to season 1, and was lacking from seasons 2 and 3, where instead the finales were completely unrelated to the rest of the seasons. So if this whole 26-episode (hopefully) season is somehow focused on finding the keys to unlock the box, and the finale is them finally finding the last key and unlocking it, then that would be pretty cool.
But anyway, it finishes off with PRINCESS Twilight now knowing how to fly despite only learning in about two days or something. And she does a completely pointless copy of the sonic rainboom to help with the celebration. Hooray.

And that's Princess Twilight Sparkle. What are my thoughts of it? Well, while it's obviously nowhere near as epic as the premieres of seasons 1 and 2, it's nowhere near as bad as the season 3 premiere. This is just sort of a "meh" one. It has plotholes galore and all sorts of BS like that. But on the other hand, it has ABSOLUTELY NO SONGS (thank god) and also you do have to appreciate the shading effects they did on the animation. So yeah, I give it a 2.5 star rating and say that, with this in mind, I will look forward to season 4 with open arms.

-Kirb Hysteria

PS: FUCKING TENTACLES!